If fruit comes from fruit trees, where do chickens from?
Poul-trees.

A neutron goes into a bar and asks how much a shot of whiskey is?
Bartender said, "For you. No Charge."

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent!

great jokes!

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh? (10 tickles)... tentacles.

What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone? a fungi to be around!

Psychiatrist to patient: "You have nothing to worry about--
anyone who can pay my bills is certainly not a failure."

Ha Ha! Fun silliness for a snowy day here. I like 'em all. Thanks!!

Why did the cookie go to the doctors?
Because he felt crummy.

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So brunettes can remember them.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam!

Ha ha! Good ones, Jabber! Thanks!

It may be Friday, but I've got a good joke for you, Jabber, and I hope you and everyone else enjoys it:


An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the
responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married,so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter.
The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
"Well,' said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
"Well,"the man replied, "She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."
So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...
Pregnant when you met her."

Guffaw....lol...'tis funnnnnnyyyyy...love it.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.