Just wondering if your nest is empty. If so, how old were your children before they stopped coming through the revolving door?

I just heard of a boomer man who is separated and is now
living at home again iwth his parents who are in the late 70s. Perhaps it never ends...

I was watching TLC show on hoarders. The psychologists were saying that the tendency to be a hoarder may be a defect in a chromosone, and it may be genetic. Hoarding may be triggered by empty nest syndrome. One woman started hoarding when her son left home. To fill the void, she filled his room with all kinds of stuff that reminded her of him. When her daughter left home, she did the same with her room. Then, the dining room. She filled the empty chairs they used to sit at with STUFF, stuff stuff stuff. One of the insights was the fact that she realized that the hoarding had started 11 years prior when her first child left home for college, and her children had not come home for holidays since. However, there was a deeper issue of anxiety disorder from childhood... oh, I digress. It's just interesting how empty nest changes dynamics.

My nest was empty and I loved it to a point. I always miss my sons and the upheavel caused by their presence BUT I have a volture living here now and my nest is overflowing with crap! Oh to be empty again, I pray!

Chatty, it's that vulture you mentioned in the form of an X? I'd run for Hoover Dam, or is it Roosevelt?

Search me Lynn... He is more of a "P" chromosome, like in PAIN in the derierre. I could so add privacy by subtracting the vulture but he is very comfortable here and I don't see his leaving anytime soon.

When I was ill this same individual really helped me alot. I guess one never really knows how anyone will behave in a crisis...

Being alone is sad for anyone. I am getting se to having my ex around, believe that if you can...

Chatty, When I give it some thought, I am able to believe you are getting comfortable with having your "X" around.

I thought of my "X" and I remembered that when we were deciding whether or not to get divorced, we went to see a counselor, who advised us that we should separate for two weeks to see what it would be like to live alone.

This was a rather silly exercise for us, since Bill had a job that caused him to be out of the state, often even out of the country, for two weeks to a month at a time. During those times, he wouldn't call me, as he didn't want to pay the long distance charges (s he said) for which his employer would not reimburse him.

So essentially, we already KNEW what it was like to be alone. My kids had already told me that they felt they were living in a single parent family during these times.

Anyway, I digress: We felt we didn't have the money to pay to have one of us move out for such a short time, so we decided to "pretend" that we were separated, by both living in the house -- but not speaking to each other, eating together or otherwise interacting.

It was pretty silly, because I recall one morning when I was feeding the kids breakfast while Bill came downstairs to go to work. He said good bye to the kids, hugged them and kissed them, then headed to the door.

Since we hadn't explained this arrangement to the kids, my daughter called him back as he went out the door: "Daddy, you forgot to kiss mommy goodbye."

In the interest of not causing a scene, he came back and kissed me...

ANYWAY, we found that we got along quite well co-habiting in the house under these circumstances.

I don't know why. But at the end of the two weeks we actually discussed whether or not we should get back together. (We did not.)

I am sure the fact that we didn't hate each other, and we respected each other allowed our co-parenting to work out as well as it did during our time of divorce, and after I remarried five years later.

I think it is a good idea NOT to live alone, especially as we age. so I am glad having your X live with you is working for you right now, Chatty.

I believe firmly that one should do what's best for them, whatever works, however, and with who they choose, if they choose. I also believe Opinions are Like Flat Tires, so don't ask for them. (I've written some on this topic in my blog; hope you take a peek) Have a great day.

Chatty,
Guess what? For weeks I've been trying to comment on your blog and today, I finally got 1 published, regarding pumpkins. Hip, hip, hooray!

I say all the more power to you if you can live with your X.
Don't think I could live with my X, but some folks make it work.