Most individuals men as well as women stay in toxic marriages from fear of the unknown. How will I survive on my own is the big question. If it's abusive there is no time limit, exit. God intended us to be Champions in this life not punching bags.

Wonderful advice, RedHendoo!

My mother soon learned after marrying my father that he could be abusive at times. She never knew who would come home from work, Dr. Jeckyl or Mr Hyde.

As she puts it, we all learned to walk on eggshells so as not to arouse the terrible temper.

She began confiding in me when I was very young, and probably told me a lot of things she shouldn't have shared with a child.

One of the biggest things I remember is that she told me her mother told her to take us kids and walk away from the marriage; but she waited so long to take that advice that my sister and I were married and my brother in college before she took action.

She said she didn't do this earlier, as she didn't know how she would have supported us or where she could have turned.

I don't know what options were actually available to her back in the 60s, but I have come to understand that MANY MANY of the kids I grew up with -- in an affluent community, by the way -- were all secretly living with horrible situations at home. Drink, drugs, sex and infidelity -- all were lurking just below the well-varnished surface.

My father was a Jackyl/Hyde character also and very hard to live with. My mother divorced him as we kids grew older and we all insisted on it. He had a mental illness thats for sure.

Thank God my stepfather was a kind, loving man to my mom. They had many great years together and he spoiled her rotten which she deserved. But he passed away so she is alone again in her later years.

Sorry about your stepfather's passing, Chatty! Glad he was good to your mom, though!

Unfortunately, also in the 1960's I think there still was that stigma about divorced women. We've come a long way baby!