Everybody here knows I go to the gym several mornings per week. And I see lots of the same women there day after day and naturally we've become friends as women do.

Well one woman insists on talking to me during our exercise classes, talking over the instructor and annoying people around us. I like her, and enjoy talking to her, but I don't like instructors and other people in class getting annoyed and shooting us dirty looks or telling us to be quiet. I've tried to tell her that we can get together and talk after class, but she doesn't seem to get the idea that it's not cool to interupt class like that and that while some of the others in class don't mind, some people get really annoyed. I know we're paying to go to the gym and to a point should be able to laugh and have fun if we want but not to the point of annoying others. How do I get thru to her that if she wants to tell me something she needs to do it before or after class??

Move away from her...she'll get the hint.

believe me I tried that. Several times. No, she didn't get the hint. She just follows me and sets up next to me, wherever I go in the group fitness room. I've tried ignoring her when she starts chatting in class, I've tried moving away, I've tried making comments like "we need to shut up -- we're always getting in trouble in here" to no avail. She treats it like it's a joke or like she enjoys aggravating the class instructors. She was probably always the rowdy kid in class in school.

Wow, she's a tough one. I thought Di's suggestion was great, but your friend is one of the more clueless ones. At this point you need to make it obvious which of you is the problem because right now you both are if other women are getting annoyed. Frankly, she keeps talking because you keep breaking down and talking back to her.

Subtlety hasn't worked, so it's time to be direct. Don't ask her, tell her: "Talking during the class isn't fun for me, so I'm going to be concentrating more on the instructor. We'll have to save our chatting for afterward." Then follow through: Don't talk to her at all during exercise no matter what she says except to kind of point at the instructor and signal that your attention is there.

Your absolute last-ditch effort is to tell her to leave you alone and walk away, but I hope it doesn't have to come to that. Good luck!

She follows you when you move??? Clingy with boundary issues -- and subtlety will never work with that kind of person.

1. You need to stop talking to her NOW.
2. The next time she does this, say LOUDLY "I told you not to talk during class." So everyone else hears it's she not you -- which only works if you're following 1.

She'll either go into a snit and refuse to talk to you, period, or blather 90mph denials. Either way, she can cling to/stalk someone else.

this gals needs more "help" than just the gym!

I agree with meredithbead.

Honesty is the best policy. Tell her, "talking during workout
sessions, is making you feel uncomfortable. You prefer the two
of you get together after class." Di, Ellemm and Ms. Divine have given you great advice. This gal must be insensitive if she
can't see how her yapping is disrupting other people. Good luck
with this situation, Cross!

Cross, How's this working out?

I don't go to the gym on Thurs, and yesterday we were together in Pilates class, but for some reason she's quieter in there.....takes more concentration I guess. The problem only seems to come up in our BodyPump class, which is on Mon & Wed. So I'll let you know after Mon.

Good luck!