I don't know these people, of course. I have no idea if chatty's friend really never wants to see the girl again or just wants her to be a more considerate guest. I don't know if they have some level of friendly relationship, even if it's not ideal, or if they barely tolerate each other.

Like Anne says, though, they can only go forward. How they do that is up to them.

Agreed!

There is to be no reconcilation as far as my friend is concerned. The one sided relationship went on too long and just because she tried to be gracious and not complain it only got worse. She has said she never wants to see this young woman again. The young woman moved in with an aunt and is driving her crazy. The girl has relatives and friends but does the same thing wherever she goes, takes advantage. She is what is known as a FREE LOADER!

Of course your friend has every right to end a poor relationship and to refuse to let someone take advantage of her, but I hope your friend speaks up about things that are bothering her in future.

In fact, I'm not certain it's all that gracious to be seething inside over and over and not saying something. I lost a long-standing friend over this issue when I discovered that she had been keepng a big secret from me. (Her husband got angry with me over a minor remark I made but no one ever told me about it until a chance encounter left me shaken after he started shouting at me.) If I make someone angry, please tell me. Don't pretend that everything is all right and then leave me wondering if you (general you) ever tell the truth. All she had to do was tell me I owed someone an apology and I would have been over there in a flash. Now I don't trust either of them; they were never going to tell me. What else have they never told me?

The other relatives need to do the same thing, though: stop the freeloading now. Sometimes you can't make people better but you can stop them driving you crazy, so I'm sure your friend did what she needed to do for her peace of mind.

Sorry to respond to my own post, but I did want to mention that I can well understand how nice people put up with far more than they should -- until they finally say, "that's it!" It's a shame when kindness isn't repaid.

Unfortunatey Ellemm, in todays hustle, bustle world that's just the way it is all too often. Yes, it's a terrible shame but no one seems to care.

Chatty, you're friend needs to mare up and kick that little filly out of the pasture!

She did weeks before the holiday and her life is so simple and stress free now she can hardly believe she took all she did for so long. As for me it is so nice to hear the happiness in her voice now. This is the first Christmas in years she is looking forward to.

We had a blast, no stress, no one complaining and enough delicious food for an army. My DIL is now, according to her my daughter, I am mom #2 as her real mom s still in Vegas and in March she (the #1 mom) her younger daughter and I are having a birthday party for my DIL. It should e a blast!

Chatty,
Nothing is more special than unexpected JOY!