Sue, You may recall (but I don't expect you to) that I was working on a memoir about my breast cancer experience when I was at VC with you. I was trying to compartmentalize the cancer experience, like a city unto itself (think LA-X airport in the midst of Los Angeles) or an island in my ocean of life. I did not want to incorporate a history of dysfunctional family, child abuse, and its ramifications. Been there, done that with TEARS. However, the feedback that I got from your group was a series of questions, such as why this, and why that, we want to know the back-story! which can only be explained by reflecting on my childhood. A couple of days ago I came across a postal mail letter I received in 2005. It says, "Lynn, I want to share my thoughts with you because we are both survivors of incest and breast cancer. When I went through breast cancer, the trauma [of childhood abuse] surfaced...I want to heal..." So, how's that for the writing on the wall, the whisper in the mail, the answer to the prayer! I think that when we receive the call (to write) we may be slapping the universe in the face if we don't respond?

I'm replying to my own post. I wrote in previous post about having a story without owning the story until I wrote it, and then I went to Sue's site and I found this: FC a guidebook for people who want to take possession of their lives by writing of their experiences.
and I think that is so true. We may let others define us by what is convenient for them to say.
Am I a groupie? Well, maybe, because Sue is the rock-star of memoirs!

HI, Princess Lenora!

I'm going to reply to your 3 posts in order, just so you can follow!

First, yes, I hear what you're saying about writer's block. Actually, I wonder about that fear that prevents us from writing--wonder if another term for that is "emotional block"? I think that was true for me, at least, before I had the courage to write my first memoir. During that time I WAS writing--but I wasn't writing the book(s) I really wanted to write. I was too scared; I was still protecting my family!

So I hear you and am in awe of your epiphany, about the need to tell your story for yourself--and for the greater good! Yes! Bearing witness is crucial.

Yes, I do remember that you were working on a memoir about breast cancer. And that's so ironic what you say: that you wanted to write that memoir without mentioning the backstory at all. It's ironic to me because I've tried to do the same thing: write an essay about my CURRENT life, as if there were no childhood--certainly no incest in that childhood! As you say, "been there, done that." Well, for me, the current essay didn't work at all unless I did mention the childhood incest.

However, what I also found to be true, was that now, while writing an essay about a more adult experience, even though, yes, I have to reference my childhood, I am writing it as if through a new lens.

In this way, then, I don't feel as if I'm repeating myself. The work, in a way, has a different tone, a different voice.

I mention this only so that you might consider this, too. When you write about this adult experience, with the breast cancer, but need to refer to your past, you might be looking at the past from a different angle, exploring other parts of it. So it might, then, feel like new material.

Does that make sense?

And thank you, too, for what you say about "Fearless Confessions"! Yes, I do hope that this book will help memoir writers take possession of their own lives.

That's it! By telling our stories the way we want to, others can try to define us...but, ultimately, we get the final word. Our words, our books live on!!

Thank you!!

Sue, you always make sense to me. I'm glad you can relate. Through a new lens. I like that!

I like it, too!!

This is the first day I've had to sit and read the post from beginning to the end an I'm so impressed. Not only by you, Sue, but by the thoughtful questions asked and the responses of our women here. So much wisdom being passed back and forth. Anyone who doesn't take the time to read through this section is really missing out!

I have to admit I haven't read FC yet, but have every intention of doing so. I have thought on many occasions that I would like to document "slices of life" for my children and grandchildren, but just never took that first step. I've done all of the genealogy stuff for both sides of the family, so the stories pertaining to the past are all in there.

But my life...it would read like a snoozer.

Cathi, I hope you DO write that book about being a military brat. I would imagine there are millions of people who could relate to it and would love to read it.

Meredith, I have one of your books so I hope you DO finish this one you're working on. You introduced me to poetry and forced me to like it. Well...I like yours.

Sue, you are such a breath of fresh air. You are so down-to-earth, helpful, and sincere. We are so lucky to have you here with us!

What's next on the agenda for you? And my second question is do you believe everyone has a memoir in them? Even boring people like me?

Ladies, Sue is experiencing technical difficulties and will be on as soon as she can. Just FYI.

Dear Jawjaw - Thank you so much for reading this whole post, I'm thrilled that you're enjoying it. I think it's really great that you've been doing research on your family and genealogy, as that can be a really important part of one's story. And of course, that can be an important part of one's memoir, too. I know you say that your life is a "snooze," but I'm thinking you really do have some important and interesting stories to write about. I've always believed that everyone has a memoir in them. What you might try to do is set aside a half hour or so and just freewrite without censoring yourself or second-guessing and see what comes of it. If you hit on even one word or one sentence that has a lot of energy around it, just keep following that thought and see where it leads you. Right now I'm up at Vermont College of Fine Arts and teaching at a conference and when I get home I hope to finish my next book, which is called THE PAT BOONE FAN CLUB: MY LIFE AS A WHITE ANGLO SAXON JEW. Thank you for such warm support.

Excellent advice Sue. I thought about your words over night and I'm thinking if I did some freewriting for an hour or so, I'd have to build a pit in the backyard, burn it, buried it, and build a garage over it. I wouldn't want my kids to see it...so I guess I DO have some stuff to write about.

I can't wait to see your next book in print. Here's hoping you don't have those technical difficulties today!

Thanks, jawjaw! First of all,yes, my tech difficulties have been resolved! Thanks for your patience.

I'm pleased my advice helped! And I'm so pleased (and also think it's kind of funny), that you feel you'd have to burn any freewriting exercise! So, yes, we all DO have stories to tell!! The next step is, slowly but surely, telling them. Well, you know, you could just start with a bit of freewriting and choose not to show it to anyone...just see where the material leads you.

If anyone would like a writing prompt, here's one: What's the first sensation you remember on the soles of your feet? For example, was it sand on a beach? A freshly mowed lawn? Asphalt? Once you get in touch with this sensation, try writing a little scene around it. Where were you when you felt this? Who were you with? Did you feel happy? Sad? Confused?

I'd love for some of you to try this!! I'm at Vermont College of Fine Arts right now, and I might give this same exercise to my students here!! Sue